work

Why, is it whenever I have an anxiety attack I forget all about it in ten minutes. this is abit random and not on my topic but I am thinking there will be a storm later in the UK. Anyway, I just came out of the hospital in June, I have just started working in the YMCA cafe there buy.
My manager was asking me how they know what the signs when I have an anxiety episode when they were asking me, and all my head was telling me is it real, imagery or they just asking so they could get rid of me but try not to hurt my feeling. I hate that I can’t trust or rely on people or let them in I feel so useless that it can’t do the most simple tasks that everyone does is letting people in and trusting the right kind of people. Also, I hate explaining myself for that reason and I just want that part not in my life but I am starting to realise it never goes away or judged buy every move or thing I do that day. I am not sure if anyone could relate or if it just messed up in the head or a bit of both.

panic atack

Hey, it is a new week so I guess a new start or a new begging so to speak. I have a session with my therapist tomorrow and I show her my homework but I don’t like to call it homework, it makes me feels like I am back at school which I hate, so let’s call it improving my communication skills. Anyway, I had to write three things I did it that day, which at frit was hard but you got used to it after the threed day, it was okay. that’s another thing about the school you do the work and you be thinking until you got it back that person was judging you so the anxiety is there until I got it the next day and if they didn’t give it to you straight away you panic and wonder what was wrong or something. know left school it hasn’t stop but I seem to do it to myself know like; what I war , makeup, to much perfume or deodorant on or if you have too many showers or not another and if you look in the mirror you are vain or if to makeup on you are trying to hard or not a lot then your not trying anything if you were tight clothes you are a tart.
I think I am trying to say why do we do this put people into sections when we should just be one and except people for who they are not what they look like or act. I hope tomorrow will be okay if not there’s always tomorrow. oh I forgot why I came on here today, I was at Asda shopping and all a sudden I had a panic attack other some yougets that were leaking at the till I thoult it was my thought and that bit I don’t know how to stop getting in a panic attack if any idea please let me know. after ten minutes I did manage to calm down once I got home and back in my bedroom where the safe place I go.